Grace in small things

1. Breakfast in bed on a headache day

2. Earplugs make my world better. Even the furnace is too loud on headache days but it doesn’t matter when I’m armed with little orange soldiers.

3. My room smells like sweet banana with a soft trail of lavender wrapped in coziness. It is better than it sounds.

4. Blueberries that squish against the roof of my mouth, bursting with flavour. Thawed blueberries are best at this, giant and softer than their fresh counterparts.

5. SQL lets me play with data, and I like to play, plus I like data. I’m making things dance even though my head hurts. It’s a good distraction.

6. The Boy will be home soon and the dogs are quivering with excitement, waiting for his tsunami of energy and stories and leftover snacks to arrive. I’m quite excited as well.

7. I have honey. It was harvested by the woman that mentored my candy striper troupe many decades ago and I love that now she talks to bees. Age has little meaning when it comes to developing new passions.

8. The Husband made me laugh so many times today. I’m going to keep him.

9. I figured out how to do the heel on these socks that I started several years ago. Wrapping my head around it has not been easy but later today, I’ll be back to wrapping stitches.

10. Shortened work days mean I have some time for napping. My brain is so very grateful.

grace in small things

  1. The new “Black Panther” movie was hella good. Visual beauty with those costumes, and the stars were kickass too .
  2. Snowmageddon means I can cuddle on the couch inside with the dogs (we now have two) and boy, knitting in the warmth without anyone, including myself, wanting me to go outside.
  3. Leftover Chinese fried rice from the corner restaurant means no one has to cook tonight!
  4. Ikea just helped us hide I mean organize our craft stuff. All hail Ikea!
  5. Handknit socks. Warm, perfectly fitting, full of love. I cast on another pair today.

grace in small things – labour day weekend

grace in small things

1. I thought my loss of a connection for crabapples meant no jelly making this year. Instead, I was moved to ask around and now I have more apples (crab AND gala-type) than I know what to do with.

2. The above also moved me to ask about other fruits and berries and I’m also full up on sour cherries too.

3. I have a sitter coming so that I can go hang with my knitter peeps. I’m cool that way.

4. Pecan, goat cheese, strawberry and field greens salad. (because at least one grace in small things must be food related)

5. Cold, crisp, fresh water.

Wage a battle against embitterment: Grace in Small Things.

a new walk

I feel like I’ve been off in emotional recovery and rehab rather than here on this blog. As much as what’s here is part of me, much of it still hurts to revisit. Since deciding to tentatively reclaim this spot as a means to express myself (CATHARSIS WIN!), I’ve been reading past posts, laughing and crying and nodding in agreement with myself.

I thought that motherhood would separate me from the past but it just made me so busy that I didn’t have much time to sit and remember.

It’s been almost three years since I envisioned my future with The Dog and Child. In his first year on the outside, JJ spent part of every other day in a stroller or sling as we wandered the neighbourhood, The Dog as our proud, if far too protective, escort. The Dog’s leash is now gripped by 2.5 year old JJ, who thinks he’s controlling the walk, unaware that I’m still setting the pace with a few words to our responsive girl. The Dog does give me a look like she’s soooo hard done by whenever JJ picks up her leash but it’s the only time that she gets to run now that JJ refuses to get into a jogging stroller. His response to seeing the stroller is a stern “I walk, Mama!”. With that, he’ll pick up the dog’s leash and scream “go go go!”. They run at his top speed in unison until his little legs tire and he stops, laughing and proud of how fast his shoes go.  Neither child nor dog will cross the street without me (yet) so I can walk at my own pace, laughing at their antics, The Dog washing his little face with her tongue if he gets within range.

It’s joy I never imagined.

 

grace in small things

1. Our childcare provider opens her door with a smile every single morning. She warmly welcomes my often miserable morning-hating child. The drama! The angst! The sadness of it all!  She gives him some time to get it out of his system then reigns him in and redirects him to a happier place. I’m not a morning person either so I really appreciate her empathetic methods.

2. Dairy-free, nut-free and soy-free cake mix by Betty Crocker. Delicious!

3. Painting birdhouses is something that engages little guy and myself. Perfect fun on a summer evening on the deck.

4. This course I’m in right now has a great instructor. Engagement triggers my brain to learn.

5. Portobello Mushroom burger was the special today in the cafe. Zucchini, peppers, sprouts, cream cheese – delicious.

 

Wage a battle against embitterment: Grace in Small Things.

bottle this

I have an almost three year old now.

He’s amazing. Like, really funny and goofy and we made cupcakes tonight and he poured juice for both of us to drink with our snacks and he giggled at the dog and accused her of wanting his cupcake (smart kid) and was distressed when the icing hit his shirt… he is the personification of a run-on sentence. When he was done sucking back a metric tonne of sugar, he hugged me hard for no reason, kissed my cheek and ran off to play trains.

He’s not perfect by any means. I mean, he’s TWO and working on being the poster child for that age. He’s stubborn and independently strong willed and he stamps his foot and yells “NO” and has to do everything himself which often drives him to frustrated tears and tantrums and why does he need to get into my brightest lip gloss but when he wakes me up at 3am to tell me that he was dreaming about daddy’s truck or bugs or our dog, I want to hold him tight and remember the moment. I want to smell it, taste it, document it in every form because it feels so right, even when I’m thinking “for the love of all that’s holy, GO TO SLEEP”.

This little body snuggled into mine.

This little boy that I longed to meet.

This little person that makes my heart sing.

P.S. Today I added the Category of “motherhood” to this blog. And then, I cried. Some wounds never seem to completely heal.

He’s here!

Long time no chat… but I had to pop by between wiping a very cute bum and trying to find a shower for myself to report:

HE’S HERE! HE’S AWESOME! HE’S ADORABLE!

The last 13 weeks have flown by. Motherhood seems to suit me much better than I expected.

Every day I thank all powers that be for our son. He’s really an inspiration.

And I’ve apparently become a mushy cliche-slinger in the meantime.

grace in small things

Sept 7

1. A long mid-day bath
2. Homemade chicken korma. Yellow food is good!
3. List making is so satisfying. I made two today.
4. Remembering to put the recycling out for pickup without The Husband here to do it. I remembered something! MIRACULOUS!!
5. The Husband survived his camping trip. He’s still sweating booze and he had a great time and he missed me lots. Which is satisfying because I missed him too.

Sept 6

1. A long long walk with my most awesome canine friend
2. I fixed the vacuum! I fixed the vacuum! ME ME ME fixed something!
3. I had microwaved haddock and wow, it was really enjoyable.
4. I found my mat leave city guide that I bought months ago.
5. Napping without guilt

walking

My available topics of conversation over the past few months: baby, baby, labour, breasts, baby, baby, labour, labour, hope, breast, baby, baby, labour, baby, dog.

The poor poor dog.Voodoo

I understood in theory that The Dog would have to take at least a temporary backseat to the offspring since she’s relatively self sufficient while a newborn human will need the time we have historically devoted to the dog. We’re five weeks away from the estimated due date of the Offspring and oh, the poor poor dog. As it’s happening before my eyes and the dog hasn’t had a walk in at least 4 days and I think I forgot to feed her supper last night and she’s still following me around the house with deep affection in her eyes – I have Le Guilt. The offspring isn’t even HERE yet but just having him fully embraced in my pelvis has me choosing to be a neglectful dog mom.

Today I committed to refocus on my girl. We walked/waddled for an hour, I minded good posture while she minded sniffing all the parts of the neighbourhood that she hadn’t smelled for awhile. It felt good to wander the ‘hood to do a few errands and I do love walking with the beautiful, focused, prancing pooch.  It was a relief to see her continually adjusting to my new physical self where I am slower and more awkward than I was a few short months ago. Today The Dog would pause and take a glance behind her to make sure I was still coming along behind. The Dog, she patiently walked me.

We’ve been told that The Dog can already hear the Offspring’s heart beat from deep within my body, smell my different pheromones and I’m sure that’s why she’s become more focused, more affectionate, more  concerned with me than ever before. As we get ready for the newest member of the family to arrive, we’ve stepped up The Dog’s  training to commands like “leave it” to prepare for her first encounter with baby vomit, diapers and other things she’s sure to deem delicious. She’s been introduced to a newborn and was very focused on helping clean his cradle-capped head with her giant tongue and thus, we have deemed her as having much potential as a big sister.

I keep picturing a gorgeous autumn day in October or November when The Dog can walk both myself and her little brother around the neighbourhood. I hope we can keep the small human alive and well while continuing to ensure that The Dog, the first of our dependent family members, continues to be healthy and happy.

Thank gawds her patience is easily bought by a big disgusting bloody bone. I’d better stock my freezer.