vigils

It’s day two of being back to work, and I miss lasagna and my heating pad tremendously. I’m working half days and I am glad to be back for the most part. Except for that normal hope to win millions and spend my days in a pottery studio instead of this little blue cube, but other than that, it’s been good. I was greeted this morning with a hug, which just has completely made getting out of bed this morning worthwhile.

Tomorrow is a candle-light vigil that I’ll be dragging my sorry self to because I feel I need to. But as my luck has it, the normal “support group” that I was interested in attending holds their tremendous emotional yearly memorial on the same day as my first visit. I can’t do anything low key, now can I? (sigh). So, I’d like to make n’ take an ornament to put on their symbolic tree because, well, that’s what they’ll be doing, but my mind is blank. How do I put these past 6 weeks onto a hangy thing??? How do I symbolize the pain, the loss of hope, the panic, the anger, the loss? I’m sure I’ll think of something, but good lord it seems like such a momentous task now – “make a christmas ornament” has become “climb Mount Everest”.

And while sitting in my own crapulence over the past little while, I stumbled across Atomic Tumour. It’s a “normal” blog written by several friends, but since November 1 has become an unfolding nightmare that reeks havoc on my heart. I think about these complete strangers daily as they and their friends/family/anonymous readers hold vigil and… well, I won’t spoil it for you.

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