dear ass-face


Dear overbearing overcontrolling Lady Of Jerk-Assedness;

Our conversations over the past week have been very touching. I’m glad you’re pointing out that I’m not getting any younger, or that we’ve only really tried pregnancy once so we should just try again. I hadn’t even thought of those perspectives. I’m very happy to be tut-tutted because we’re not trying to get pregnant yet. We should not ensure we are prepared for a joyous or traumatic event before again introducing sperm to egg, and yes, I guess we should just “get on with it”. Your wisdom is truly helpful.

One of my favored pieces of advice you’ve come forward with is the suggestion that we register with adoption agencies now “just in case”. I mean, I did tell you I feel like I can barely get out of bed because I’m having a bad day, and you figure that going through adoption proceedings would cheer me up. You’re really good at this “cheering up”. I’m sure we’d handle the stress of adoption with grace right now, especially since you advise, with no personal experience, that the process would be easy. To top it off, insinuating that I’m being tested by god and that I should be grateful for the lessons I’m learning – I can only say that I find your faith amazing. Just… amazing.

I’m especially joyful that you’ve pointed out that my negativity will cause another pregnancy loss. To extinguish any future problems, I should be more positive and just stop with the grief process already. I’ve heard your diatribe on how negativity causes cancer (the disease itself, not the theoretical) and it’s lovely to see you still believe that bad things only happen to bad people. If I’m a good positive person, we’ll have a fantastic pregnancy. I should have thought of that!

With urge-to-kill-rising;


Yep, my bloodsaboiling today.

Maybe it’s low bloodsugar. Soaring hormones. Possibly a regular February urge to drive an ice pick into the foreheads of others. Or maybe poo-head jerkasses should just shut the hell up. Pregnancy counsellor lady confirmed that this is about the time (3 months post-loss) she sees peeps like me hit a wall and I think that’s gotta be what this is. I’m just miserable – it’s me and the teething babies, cats in heat, one-legged men in ass-kicking contests. We’ve all got the grouchy “nothing can make it better” frustrating itch. Mel’s serving up tequila over at Stirrup Queens and I’m sure I’ll be in a better place after a few of her drinkies.

Here’s some items under a running theme Craft + Geek that brought a smile to my bitter self today:

Nintendo Cross Stitch Sampler – geek squared

Techcakes – delicious renditions of favorite things

Teensy tiny chairs – get boozed up, then make a chair out of the empties

Hold your music – great belt buckle to hold your ‘lectronics


5 thoughts on “dear ass-face

  1. You know, I think this negativity could adversely affect your relationship with idiots. You might want to look in to that.

    On the other hand, there are many, MANY uses for napalm.

  2. Not only wouldn’t I convict you, but I’d think you were a saint for holding out this long.

    A little post-script to your letter to her: “And f*ck you, very much.”

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